sheesh, I had never felt so much guilt before becoming a mother.
I had to go to the grocery store with the baby and it's cold outside. guilt.
I hand my baby my phone so she'll chill out long enough for me to change her diaper. guilt.
I traveled to see family and exposed my baby to germs on the airplane. guilt.
I let my baby cry it out in the crib. guilt.
She hit her head on the coffee table as she tried to pull herself up. guilt.
I let her eat "puffs" so I can concentrate on making dinner. guilt.
My baby screams when she wants more food. am I spoiling her? guilt.
etc. etc. etc.
Ha. Am I ridiculous or what? it's ridiculous! I'm a good mom. I love my baby- I'd do anything for her. Why why why do I beat myself up so much?! When Clara was younger I had so much confidence in myself as a mother. now that I'm having to start teaching her boundaries and feeding her scary grown up food- I find myself second guessing myself a lot. I was voicing some of my insecurities about mothering Clara the other night to Steve and he reminded me that I'm doing the most important thing right, and that is loving her. that guy, man. love him.
so I guess all this is to say that I need to remind myself that I'm not perfect, but that's ok. I'm a good mom. I love my girl and I'd go to war for her. that's the most important thing and I've got that down, so everything else can't be alllll that bad. Do you feel me?
and on that note- I think we all need to cut ourselves (and others- in the spirit of full disclosure) some slack. I would venture to say that most moms out there are doing their utmost, very best to love their kids and bring them up the best way they see fit. That's the goal here anyway, right?
and also, babycenter kind of stresses me out. a lot.
ok I'm done, amen.